Embracing My Age

I dyed my hair last week for the last time…I think.  

I can remember getting compliments on my hair color when I was 21.  I had this lovely mix of probably five different colors in my hair.  People would ask where I had my hair colored and I would proudly respond that it was natural.  I remember declaring that I would NEVER dye my hair.

But then, at my very young age, I started noticing a few greys here and there.  I still did not feel the need to color it.  But, at the tender age of 25, the greys became too much for me and I started the hair dye game.  I pretty much stuck with my natural color, although I no longer had that beautiful multi-color mane.

Twelve years ago I neglected to tell my stylist that I wanted my natural color, and I found myself suddenly a blonde.  Instead of getting upset, I decided to go with it.  After all, I could always go back to the darker color if I didn’t like it.  Needless to say, I liked the color change and have been a blonde ever since.

Over the years, the subject of aging and hair color has been a frequent topic.  I have always said that I will fight aging kicking and screaming to the bitter end.

A few months ago, however, my attitude changed.  I noticed that the roots that are around my face are very white.  I was curious to find out what my hair would look like if I stopped coloring it.  I still had three boxes of root touch-up (I stocked up while they were on sale) so decided to wait until I had finished them off before doing anything else.

In the meantime, I researched the best ways to grow my natural hair color out.  Apparently, chopping it all off is the fastest way to do it, but after growing my hair out for the last 13+ years, I am not about to do that.

I also joined a few Facebook groups for women growing out their greys.  The more I researched and thought about the idea, the more excited I became to get started.  It helps that when I mentioned the idea to Chris, he was very supportive.

In the last few months, I have found myself obsessively looking at women’s hair everywhere I go.  I have enjoyed seeing the before, during, and after pictures on the Facebook groups.  I realized that in almost every before and after picture I looked at, the after photo was the better of the two.

One of the benefits of this process (that I haven’t even physically started yet) is that for the first time in my life I actually feel beautiful.  Of course, I have had times that I felt pretty…dressed nice, makeup perfect, good hair day, etc.  I am not talking about an everything falls into place, circumstantial beauty, but feeling truly beautiful as I am.

I have stopped looking at the lines in my face with disgust.  I will be 53 years old this year and realize that I have earned every line and wrinkle that I see.  I am not sure why our society looks down on aging.  I have lived a life that has molded me into the person that I am today through my trials and experiences, both good and bad.  I am healthy and happy.  Why should I let a number take away any of the joy of living?

I now realize that I should not compare myself to the pretty, energetic 20-somethings that are everywhere.  I do not want to go back to that age.  I am so much more now than I was then, and I like who I have become.

So…here we go.  With the length of my hair, I expect this journey to take at least three years (if not longer) to get to all-natural color.  I will update this post monthly with pictures of my progress as I go.  And, if I absolutely detest the new natural color of my hair, I can always go to see my stylist.

Update 4/1/20:  Three months in – I really like the color that is coming in, but I find that now I really don’t like the old color at all anymore.  I keep reminding myself that this is a process.  The only shortcut is to chop it off and I am not willing to do that after growing it for the last 14 years.

Update 5/3/20:  Four months in – I have named my new color “Better Than Blonde”.

Update 1/1/21:  One year in – The color is growing out nicely.  While it is not as white as I was hoping it would be, I still love what I see.  Only three years to go until it is completely grown out.  I am impatient but think the hardest part is over.

Update 1/6/22:  Two years in.  The old dyed hair has faded to the point that I can barely see the line.  It’s funny but the easiest way for me to see how far the natural color has grown is to look at the length of the dark strands.  I’m halfway there and am sure I will never go back.